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So, now that I have a new TV girlfriend, it is my mission to watch everything she has ever done. (If you're wondering what a TV girlfriend is, see my last post). I watched Higher Ground the other day which is pretty much her baby (production, direction, and acting credits).
I don't know about religion or a big god in the sky, but I do know that there are too many weird, weird coincidences in my life to attribute to chance. Sometimes it feels like someone else is running the show, guiding me this way and that. The frustrating thing is that I hardly ever really understand the message. I see the pattern, but I don't see why it is being shown to me.
A couple days after I started to "love" Vera, a friend of mine asked me if I had ever heard of her. She is acquainted with her. I'm not the type to think -- oh, that means I'm destined to meet her -- because I usually prefer not to meet celebrities that I admire. (The dynamic is usually weird. How can I be myself?) I do think that the coincidence is strange, and it is another example of a pattern being laid out for me. My friend mentioned Higher Ground, which I watched, and it seemed to be speaking directly to me. It's not that I'm immersed in a fundamentalist religious community, but there are elements of my life that are so deeply, deeply stuck in the same way that her character was. My sense of identification with her character, Corrine, (based upon a very real woman) put me into a psychological hole that I can't even begin to explain. I really can't. Not here. Better left for a therapist. Time to get into therapy?
This is not the first time a film has come my way that has been a direct reflection of something that is moving within my psyche. What I want to know about this sort of thing is -- why do these patterns exist, and what are they trying to tell me? Are they telling me to act on them, because my sense is that if I took action based upon these patterns, I would be rocking the boat so much so that I might sink. I can tell you right now that I'm not reading the book that it is based upon by Carolyn S. Briggs -- not yet anyway.
I'm Jennifer, the author who loves her novel, but doesn't want to think about it, talk about it, or write about it constantly.